I will sing and make melody. Awake, my soul! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn. I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples, and I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is higher than the heavens, and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. (Psalm 108: 1-4)

More than once I have been saved. For reasons beyond my understanding, I have been snatched from the precipice.

I have certainly given thanks. But I have never been quite as enthusiastic as the psalmist.

Instead I tend to collapse into exhaustion, trembling a bit in fear.

The exhaustion is a product of two exertions. Just doing my small part in the process has tested me in many ways. But even more challenging has been letting go, waiting, not doing, and allowing God to work.

Being vulnerable, accepting my dependence on God, and recognizing my own weakness: The non-doing of faithfulness is - for me - a very difficult discipline.

Some versions of the 108th psalm begin with "My heart is steadfast, O God." I cannot truthfully say that.

But I do acknowledge my absolute dependence on God for all that is good, true, and beautiful in my life. I do give thanks and praise.

And just as soon as I recover from being saved, I will give thanks and offer praise with as much boldness and joy as I can possibly muster. For your steadfast love is higher than the heavens, and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

Above is Precipice by Elisa Fogelman.